This has gone too far

I went to the store.
I went to the store to buy some Oreos.
(Do not talk to me about what's actually in an Oreo.  All I know is it's a dark chocolately cookie stuffed with crack)
I went to the store to buy some Oreos and really wanted the normal basic kind.
I went to the store to buy some normal basic Oreos and encountered a problem.

Where the hell are the normal Oreos?
There are dozen varieties in this photo, and NONE are the regular kind. Until this moment I had no idea how out of hand things had gotten.
1. I don't want Golden Oreos.
2. I don't want Golden Double Stuf Oreos
3. I don't want Golden Chocolate Oreos.
4. I don't want Chocolate Oreos
5. I don't want Peanut Butter Oreos.
6. I don't want Oreo Fudgees
7. I don't want Cool Mint Oreos.
Well, wait, those actually sound pretty good.

8. I don't want Sugar Free Oreos (how is that even possible?)
9. I don't want Candy Cane Oreos (It's February, why are these on the shelves?)
10. I don't want Reduced Fat Oreos (If I'm going for terribly artificial, I want it all!)
11. I don't want Double Stuf Oreos
12. I don't want Great Value brand chocolate sandwich cookies.

I did finally find the normal kind, on the very bottom shelf. And damned tasty they were!

Awesomest cookies ever!

I just made a trial batch of Southwestern Thumbprint cookies - shortbread cookies made with blue cornmeal and jalapeno jelly filling the thumbprint dent. They have totally surpassed any other cookie to be my #1 favoritest cookie OF ALL TIME. When you bite one, your teeth cut right through the jelly dollop and the shocking heat of the jalapeno jelly really wakes you up. It also cuts down on the icky-sweet feeling of eating too many cookies. The cookie itself, without the jelly, is pretty damn tasty too. It's a rich tasting shortbread (brown sugar, flour, and too much butter for heart health) made slightly chewy by the cornmeal. I found the recipe in the new Better Homes & Gardens magazine called '100 Best Cookies: Love on a Sheetpan' that's out in stores now. I thought I'd try it on a lark to eat with a pot of chili, it sounded interesting and fairly easy to make. I *never* expected it to be so snarfable. I'm totally bringing them to my company's cookie tasting (akin to a wine tasting) party in a couple weeks. Admittedly they're not for everyone (I think a little kid might start crying if they bit one), but we have so many pepper lovers there I'm sure they'll be a hit. Now all I have to do is avoid eating any more than I already have tonight...I kind of lost count...there was the first one hot from the oven, a second to make sure it really was as good as I thought, one to see what they're like cooled, one nibbled around the edges to see what the dough alone was like...um...I'm going to pretend that's all I had. It might be, I don't remember any others...