Yoga on the edge

I had a yoga workshop this afternoon on balance poses, both standing and arm balances. I don't normally do many balances in my practice, but wanted to see what it was like. I've also found lately that I'm capable of more advanced poses and variations than I thought, but need a teacher to introduce me to them. This was one of the most demanding classes I've ever taken, in any exercise/dance genre. The strength and intensity needed to maintain balance and hold your body still in the poses was incredibly taxing. It really pushed me to the point where willpower wasn't enough to maintain the pose. About halfway through I thought to myself - I'll just sit here and cry a bit, then I can keep going. It sounds funny in retelling, but at the time the thought of just breaking down was very very tempting.

But overall it was really fun. It was cool to learn poses that I never imagined trying before. The first arm balance we learned was Crow Pose. After several tries I could hold the pose for about a second before my feet touched back down. But it makes me want to keep practicing.

Someone once told me that when it comes to workshops, if you take away one new thing to incorporate into your practice, then it was a successful workshop. Based on that I'd say this was an incredibly successful workshop. We'll see how I feel tomorrow morning when I wake up. After the workshop when someone said they'd be sore tomorrow, the teacher told us to think of it as a souvenir :)

I finally got groped!

You know I've been waiting for my chance at a groping. But the majority of airports I fly from are small enough they just have metal detectors not the advanced body scanners, and hence no opportunity to opt out and get a TSA pat down instead. I did go through a body scanner once before, but that's because I was running late and really didn't have the extra time to spare. And I will admit the scanners are very fast - provided people understand that "Take everything out of your pockets" means EVERYTHING including a boarding pass or tissue. I'm not afraid of the scanners themselves nor embarrassed by the near-naked image someone will see. I just hate that we've accepted such a degradation of our privacy and 4th amendment rights for the sake of convenience and laughable idea of perceived security. So I decided a while back that I'd opt out of the scanners and make a point by getting the patdown. And I finally got my chance.

It was 5am in San Diego when I saw the scanners. I remembered my plan to opt out, and knew I had the time to spare. Then I was a bit worried about what might happen, and the thought even crossed my mind that it might hold up the entire security line as I only saw one female TSA agent, and maybe I should just do the scanner so I didn't inconvenience everyone else. No one else was refusing the scan. As soon as that thought was finished I knew I had to opt out, since it's exactly that kind of thinking that perpetuates these things. So as I approached the scanner I said I didn't want to do it. The TSA agent asked if I was opting out and I said yes. She had me step aside to wait for an agent to do the pat down. Ironically, she told me to stand where the 2 security lines converged, so it really disrupted the flow and I had to keep telling people to go ahead of me, which a shocking number of people initially refused to do. I smiled insouciantly at everyone, looking calm and carefree, purposely making eye contact with every TSA agent who glanced my way. After about 3-4 minutes a 50-something female TSA agent approached and asked me to follow her to the other side of the security area. She offered a private room but I said I was fine in the open. I really just wanted to see the thoroughness of the pat down, and to let everyone see it.

So I stood with my arms out and feet slightly wider than shoulder width apart. She started at my collar and went down my back, then arms and legs, very rapid and perfunct. The bra area was funny, as she used the back of her hand and ran it down each side, under the bottom, and straight down the middle. I asked why it was the back of the hand and she straightened up, palmed her own ponderous breast, and bobbled it making it shimmy like Jello as an explanation. "The back of the hand makes it less intrusive." I laughed, the image of her jiggling her breast in front of everyone still stuck in my head. Afterwards she checked her gloves for ions/residues that might've been picked up from my clothes and then let me on my way.

Final thoughts? The TSA patdown hit about 70% of my body. My neck and head above the collar weren't touched. The area between my breastbone and bra, which is actually a decent sized area, was bypassed. I don't remember the front of my pelvis or butt as part of the pat-down. I could probably have carried my cell phone in my bra without it being caught. Certainly something the size of a 35mm film canister. It took less than 5 minutes and was not unpleasant at all. I actually enjoyed chatting with the TSA agent. I like that it made everyone in line who saw it happen uncomfortable and nervous, wondering why I (the nice-looking white girl in a college T-shirt) was getting a patdown and worrying if they'd be selected randomly for one too.

Flat Adventures

Are you familiar with Flat Stanley? The little paper cutout of a boy named Stanley who travels around on adventures with people? And teachers have their students do the same thing as a project? I once had my photo taken with a Flat Stanley at a wine tasting. I think he got some red wine on him. Or maybe you saw that George Clooney movie Up in the Air, where he had that photo cutout of his sister? Well, a friend of mine has a daughter whose class made their own Flat Kids, and she asked if I could take Flat Kid with me on a trip. I did feel slightly like George when I had all my travel work stuff packed and then saw the Flat Kid and had to figure out where it was going to fit without getting hurt. It was actually kind of fun, and made me take photos of things I otherwise might not have.  So here goes - my Flat Kid adventures, as written for real-life Kid's 2nd grade class, with adult interpretation after each section.

Flat Kid and I flew in an airplane up to Maine. We saw the Atlantic Ocean, which is very big! Everybody eats a lot of lobster in Maine. We went to a famous candy store that has a life-size moose made of chocolate! Here is a picture of us with the Chocolate Moose. He weighs as much as a car. Can you imagine how much chocolate that is? At home it is spring, but it is still winter in Maine. We had to leave early because of a very big snow storm that was coming. [You know that icky green stuff under a lobster's thorax? I totally ate some of it, and was flabbergasted to learn it's the best part! So sweet and rich you couldn't eat more than a small bite. A Nor'easter was due April 1st, so I had to fly out early, along with the entire visiting population of Maine. The flights were delayed and I was going to miss my connection. They couldn't get me home for the night, but could get me to DC. I called my parents and they happily picked me up at the airport that night. I spent the night at their house and it helped inject some relief & normalcy in that long weird week.]
 
 Next Flat Kid and I flew to Dallas, Texas. The plane was high up over the clouds. One school-day is enough time to fly all the way from Maine to Texas. [I find it amazing you can leave here at 6 am and land in California at 10am, yet if you leave CA at 6 am you won't make it home until almost 6 pm.]

The land is very small when you are up so high. We saw a brown twisted river, and wondered what it was. We knew only one river is that big up in a plane – the Mississippi River. Do you see where the river almost touches itself? One day the two parts of the river will touch. The loop will turn into a special lake, called an oxbow lake. Can you see the town next to the river? [I'm not normally much of a window sight-seer, but I found it super cool to catch the Mississippi and to recognize it. On one trip I actually saw our house as we were leaving the airport - I saw the interstate and started looking for landmarks, and then saw our house. Neato!]

In Texas we went to a museum with a lot of statues from India. There were statues everywhere – even in the bathroom! Here is a statue of an Indian Elephant. It was taller than an adult man. Two of these statues guarded the door. It was fun to see them so close. [This is not quite true, but it was too hard to explain to kids that we were in a really weird hotel done in Indian art. The rooms had really creepy alien-like heads on pedestals that freaked us all out.  And everywhere you turned were giant buddha statues or other things. most of them were really beautiful, but egads not what you want to be sleeping in the midst of.] 

After Texas we flew home. It was a fun trip, but our hometown is the best place to be! [This was a tough trip. Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Sun were all flying travel days. 75% of my work is done on email/internet, so all the blackout time really made it hard to keep up with things. But we all survived and I made it home!]